NEW YORK TIMES ARTICLE

A few weeks back, I received an email from one of the religion reporters for the New York Times.  He said he had found our blog and that he was interested in talking to me/us.  I forwarded the email to Brian and asked what he thought.  He said that we should talk to him, so I wrote him back and explained a bit more about our process and that several families in our church were also in the process of adopting.  He immediately responded asking if he could come out to Bozeman and talk to us.  I/we were quite caught off guard...not exactly sure why he would be interested in our family and church.  We cautiously said "yes" to him and out he came, hiring a local photographer, asking questions and taking pictures of others who are a part of our church, friends who have adopted, and our family.

Some weeks later the reporter sent us an email letting us know that the article and photographs would be published on Saturday June 1 on page 1.  Brian and I were on our way to the Democratic Republic of Congo, so we picked up our copy of the Times at the Minneapolis airport on a long layover.  We are of the opinion that the article was very "factual" and left the reader to decide for himself/herself what he/she thought of our family's desire to adopt children.  Although Brian cautioned me against it, I insisted on reading the "comments" section of the online article. 

Yes, many of the comments people left behind were hurtful, but as I have processed them over the last couple of weeks I have asked myself one question "Are we adopting kids to be featured in the NY Times and to have the world sing our praises?"  In case you're wondering, the answer is absolutely "NO!"  Brian and I both feel strongly that God has led us to each and every one of our kids.  For those of you who haven't followed our story over the last 4 1/2 years, Brian met Silas, Josh and Mahlea in their orphanage when he was in Ethiopia trying to figure out how our church could help make positive change in Ethiopia.  We were not planning on adopting at the time.  Almost 2 years ago, we met our sweet Kenzie, who was here for a summer hosting program.  Again, we were not pursuing  adopting at the time but we felt God nudging us to make her part of our family.  Last December, we were at a Christmas concert and a friend showed us a picture of our four little girls...we were actually on the waiting list for a baby girl from the DRC at the time but after many conversations and much prayer, we knew we were supposed to adopt our four little girls.

Part of me has wanted to respond to many of the comments on the NY Times page but I have refrained, knowing that, for the most part, my words would land on deaf ears.  Most commentators are not interested in who we really are or how we are raising our children.  They do not know that we have tried hard to encourage our children to keep their Ethiopian language nor that we have taken our kids back to Ethiopia and were able to spend time with Josh and Mahlea's birth mom and give Silas space to see many of his close friends and caretakers.  The critics do not care that we love ALL our children as our own and would do anything for them.  Which, after much reflection, is what hurts most about what the Times commentators said.  I am not a perfect mom, far, far from it.  I do know how amazingly special and unique God created each of my children and I believe that I am blessed beyond imagination that I get to be a part of their lives, even if it is for a few short years.  One of my favorite things that Brian has told our kids is that if they want to "squeeze us for every opportunity possible and go back to their country, we will always love them and will support them doing so."

After being in the Congo with our girls for a week, and watching their very visible need for love and affection I would boldly say to any of the NY Times critics that they have NO IDEA what that looks like.  I don't care if the child is here in the US or on the moon.  EVERY, SINGLE child that God created in HIS image is deserving of the love and adoration that only a parent can give.  After just 7 short days, I watched each of our four amazing and beautiful girls begin to rest and trust us.  In everything from the amount of food they would be given to the space on my lap being enough for four sweet girls at once.  I love each of them so much that it hurts and I know that it is only because of Jesus' love for me that I am able to love them in that way.  So, what I must conclude is that each of the often-angry commentators has not allowed Jesus Christ to love them and love others through them and so, instead of being hurt by their comments, I must pray for them, that their hearts would soften and be open to Jesus and His redeeming love and power.

My Wisdom Hunters Devotional this week said this:

 "Yes, be shameless and humble to declare your focused allegiance to your Heavenly Father and no one else. Take your marching orders from your Master Jesus. Let the Lord define your lifestyle, not those whose style of life tip God and flirt with sin. Culture and less honorable friends and family will attempt to mold you into their definition of a meaningful life. But, you look to heaven for your standard of living on earth. Embrace by grace an uncompromising lifestyle.

Above all, accept and enjoy your identity  in Christ alone. Yes, rest in the way your Creator has created you. Be who you were made to be. Be content with the lot in life the Lord has given you. If you strive to be someone you’re not, you will have an inner knot of anxiety that haunts you. However, you enjoy peace when you accept yourself for who you are in Christ. Indeed, you are loved and forgiven by your Heavenly Father. His Spirit strengthens your uncompromising life!

He [Job] is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you [Satan] incited me against him to ruin him without any reason. Job 2:3

Prayer: Heavenly Father give me the righteous resolve to stand uncompromising for Christ."

It has been an excruciatingly painful week for me.  Overcoming jet-lag and a broken heart at the same time has been much, much tougher than I imagined.  We are praying that our girl's case does get investigated while the US Embassy Staff is in Mbuji Mayi (where the girls are from) but at the same time we are trusting that God will unfold HIS perfect plan in HIS perfect timing.  Thank you for your prayers for us and our girls as we are apart from one another.